


Not So Simple

by pinheaded



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman: The Animated Series, DC Animated Universe, DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: F/F, Harley x Ivy, harlivy - Freeform, hivy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-12 22:08:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11171049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinheaded/pseuds/pinheaded
Summary: Ivy teaches herself to crochet and wonders when she let herself become such a sap.





	Not So Simple

**Author's Note:**

> Cue Warnings: pregnancy and complications themes, brief abuse mention

Jason Woodrue had stolen a lot from her, but nothing had hurt more than learning she was barren. Ivy wasn’t even sure if she wanted children, but not being able to make that choice for herself had left her with a hollowness no amount of empowerment or revenge would ever be able to fill. She would never have a family, not the way she wanted. Even through the space of so many crowded years, it ached like the tissue was still bruised.

So when Harley first told her she was pregnant, Ivy had felt an envy greener than any plant she’d ever grown.

Harley had shown up on her doorstep with a wide smile, excitement bouncing off the corners of her lips.

“Red,” she’d whispered into her ear with an intimacy that made Ivy’s skin crawl. “I’m pregnant.”

The words had hit Ivy with a stone-cold panic that’d made the room feel small. She’d felt her ribs pushing into those ancient bruises, making it harder to breathe.

“Oh,” she’d said because she couldn’t think of anything better.

She’d wanted to believe that the dread pooling at the bottom of her stomach like tar was for Harley’s sake, for her safety, but she’d known better, even then. Really, it was envy, envy entwined with a sorrow so heavy it almost threw her off balance.

As the weeks passed, she was able to suppress it, at least for the time being. The most important thing for her to focus on right now was Harley. Harley’s safety. Harley’s happiness.

And now here she was, two hooks working furiously in her hands, cursing everything from the Green to the yellow ball of yarn resting on her lap. Her laptop was open on the table in front of her to a crocheting tutorial on Youtube. She’d clicked on the video because it had said it was “For Beginners,” but after two and a half hours, Ivy was calling bullshit. Her yarn was unraveling. Her knots kept coming undone. Her hands ached, and her baby hat looked like a bird had gotten into a Kindergartener’s art project. None of that was stopping her, though. Past all of the ugly frustration and fury and envy and sorrow, Ivy could see the way Harley would look at her when the hat was all finished, the way her arms would feel around her neck, the way her bubble gum lip gloss would feel on her cheek. Ivy hugged the thought to herself like a child saving a security blanket they’d long outgrown.

As she continued to hook the yarn, she felt a quiet desperation building in her chest, a clandestine urgency she just couldn’t shake. What she really wanted was Harley. She wanted Harley to ask if she could help take care of the baby, if she could stay forever this time, if they could be a family. She wanted all of these things she could never have. It nagged at her, dug its claws into her bruises. _She had no control._

When would the silly wishing end? Harley was having someone else’s baby, for Christ’s sake! That someone **—** or that _pig_ **—** didn’t love Harley like she did, but that didn’t change anything. Harley loved Joker and would sooner die than leave him for good. She knew this, knew that the pattern would never change, knew that the cycle would never end, but she couldn’t pull herself out of it. She just couldn’t. Though Ivy hated to admit it, she and Harley had both fallen victim to Mad Love: neither of them would ever leave, no matter how badly it hurt to stay.

 _God._ When had she let herself become such a sap?

It felt completely out of character, putting another person before herself. It felt almost… _heroic_. Trying to save people **—** that was a hero’s job, a job she had no business doing. Just thinking about it left a bad taste in her mouth. She loved Harley, and more than anything else, she wanted to bring her a happy ending. But she was no hero.

She went back to her crocheting.

 

“Hello?”

“Red, I’m bleeding.” Ivy shot up in bed so fast her head slammed against the headboard. Her cellphone was shaking in her hand.

“Th-that’s normal, Harl. It’s normal to spot,” she said.

Harley was breathing heavily on the other line, and the noise was like a thick fog coating Ivy’s brain. She couldn’t focus.

“Red, it’s a lot…”

“Where are you?”

“The park.”

“I’ll come pick you up, okay? We’ll go to the ER, just in case. It’ll be okay, Harl. It will be.” Even as the words were leaving her mouth, her heart was going too fast and there was a sharp, animal taste of danger in her mouth. She glanced at the clock **—** _12:47 pm_.

“Okay,” Harley said softly, vaguely.

 

Ivy kept her eyes up, back straight against the chair, one long leg crossed over the other. On the outside, she was sure she looked completely impassive, but her insides were trembling and twisting together in ugly little knots that made the air look prickly.

She’d been in the waiting room for close to a half an hour now, and she could feel her sanity slipping little by little with each minute. The idea that something was wrong with the baby had seemed far away when they’d first walked into the building, but it was creeping closer now, seeping into the wallpaper, festering below the carpet: it was surrounding her.

So when Harley finally walked through the double doors from the examination rooms, what came out of her mouth really shouldn’t have been much of a surprise; but it still knocked the breath out of her.

“There’s no heartbeat.” Her eyes were expressionless but clear- she hadn’t been crying, not even a little. Her hands were in loose fists resting by her sides, her hair sticking up in little cowlicks that stuck to her forehead. She had been limping, but she looked sturdy, solid.

Something was off.

“Harl…” Ivy stood up and wrapped her arms around Harley, but Harley didn’t lean into it like she usually did. She was stiff and cold, brittle like chipped red stone.

Ivy pulled away to see Harley glaring at her.

“Don’t pretend you’re sorry.”

The words took a moment to run their way through Ivy’s brain, but when she finally made sense of them, she couldn’t remember how to speak. Her mind felt white.

When the world returned to her, she whispered, “Let’s go,” and they walked in silence until they got to the car.

Ivy twisted the key into the ignition and turned to look at Harley in the backseat. “Daffodil…”

“Ya’-ya’ wanted this the whole time. I _know_ ya’ did! You don’t want me to be happy with Mistah J, ya’ never have. Well, guess what? Ya’ got your wish! So celebrate! There’s no baby anymore! Throw a party, Ivy! Go dancin’! Have a fuckin’ _ball_ because when I told my Puddin’ about our baby, ya’ know what he did? Huh, Ivy? Ya’ know what he did? He took me in _his arms and he threw me down the stairs._ It’s just like ya’ always said,” Tears were dripping off of Harley’s chin and onto her shirt, “He doesn’t love me. He hates me. Aren’t ya’ glad ta’ hear that? He hates me, he really does. So congrats, sister! I was wrong. _You were right!_ And now my baby is gone.”

Ivy could’ve sworn she heard the crack as it split her heart in two. “Oh, _Harl._ ”

Harley slammed both feet against the passenger seat. “No! I don’t _want_ this! It isn’t _fair!_ ” Another slam that rocked the seat forward.

Ivy couldn’t have cared less whether or not Harley damaged the car if it made her feel better, but she was going at it hard enough to hurt herself.

She leaned around and got an arm between Harley and seat back. Harley let out a wild, helpless noise and tried to get a clear shot without hitting Ivy, but Ivy grabbed her ankles and held on. “I know. I know. I’m sorry. It isn’t fair. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“My baby. Oh, no. No. Oh my God, I… Red, please. Fix it. Please, please fix it. Please.” Harley’s voice was high pitched and blurry. Her lips sounded numb.

“I…” Ivy had never wanted to be the hero as badly as she did in that moment. She wanted to suck the blood out of Harley’s clothes, rewind the clocks, set the world spinning backward. She wanted to feel her cape flapping in the wind as she flew away with the Girl in her arms. More than anything, she wanted to be a hero. _Harley’s_ hero. It would be easier to sweep Harley off of her feet, to tell her that everything would be okay, no matter what, that there would be other pregnancies, that the pain would fade away, that healing was possible. It was always easier to save the day than it was to suffer through it, but not always better. But in her heart, she knew that that wasn’t what Harley needed. Harley didn’t need a hero: she needed someone who loved her. She needed a friend. She needed a villain. She needed Ivy.

“I wish I could take it all away, Daffodil, but I can’t. I can’t. I’m sorry. Sometimes, really bad things happen, and there’s no fixing them, only surviving them. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

And then Harley was crying, really crying, in violent, unrestrained sobs that shook the whole car.

Before she even registered what she was doing, Ivy was getting out and climbing in back to hug Harley tight.

Harley’s body slumped into her open arms. Ivy tried to think of something to say, but suddenly she was crying, too. That was when she realized that it was harder being a villain. It was harder to watch people suffer. It was harder to let people save themselves.

But this was the role she was born to play, whether she liked it or not.

They sat like that until the sunrise was peeking into the parking ramp, and with Harley asleep in the back seat, Ivy drove home.

After she parked her car in the garage, Ivy gently lifted Harley and carried her to bed. She was about to get into bed beside her when Harley opened her eyes. “Red?”

“Yes?”

“Don’t leave.”

Ivy smiled at her as softly as she could manage. “I won’t.”

Harley held out her pinky. “Promise?”

“Promise,” Ivy said, and they crossed pinkies.

 _God._ When had she let herself become such a sap?


End file.
